No one can give you the answers Angela, you will need to come to your own truth and all I can tell you is that it will take time. You write that you felt better after your telephone reading with me and then you seemed to slip emotionally again, that is common and something that I often warn people about. Grief comes in waves and there is absolutely nothing you can do to escape that pattern. I as a medium can connect and provide definitive messages from your deceased loved ones for you, but I can not give them back to you in a constant physical sense. As for you getting a sign, there truly is no bigger signs than the miraculous experience he provided for you the day of your reading. Think of the specifics he talked about to you and Randy that day. I am 1754 kilometres away from where you live and I could not know the things your son told you both that day. The name he came out with at the beginning of the reading that he called everyone. The name Brenda and his connection with her son in spirit. Think of the details I told your sister over the phone only days after your son disappeared over the falls that have come true. Your son is with you, that is the simple truth of it, stop trying to figure out the logistics of that, science has not been able to do it YET and I suspect you won’t be able to either as our human understanding is limited.
Your son is living in a dual universe now. There is his connection and reality to the world of the absolute (Heaven) and his connection with his loved ones in the world of relativity. He in a sense straddles both worlds and is always and I mean ALWAYS connected to you and those he loved in the physical world. When I tell you he stands right beside you, I mean that. When I tell you he knows some specific details about your life following his physical death I mean that. He has been around you, he interacts in your day to day life, but I can only surmise that your enormous amount of grief has blocked your conscious awareness of him. In time if you are able to accept his physical life is over and his spiritual life as never ending, you will gain a new awareness of your son. You are presently fighting the energy of reality with a mother’s sense of love and loss. You want to fight the reality of what is and I as a parent do not blame you at all. Give it time Angela and talk to young Randy and start to find a way to believe what your soul already knows, that your son is ALIVE and around you. Rely on Brenda and talk to Bev Chaisson as she knows your pain first hand and can help you understand what you are feeling is part of the process. Stop trying to understand your son’s physical passing and start down the road of acceptance. As a parent there is no amount of reasoning and understanding you can come to that will help you come to terms with your loss. I truly wish I could do more for you Angela, but I believe with all my heart that I was instrumental in giving you an incredible gift that day, thanks to your son and his incredible efforts to bring you truth and comfort. Rely on your cassette tape of that reading and let it bring you comfort.